Best Movies Ever?!

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In the theme of Worst Sex Scenes Ever, the Register is again running an article on film rankings, this going for the entirely unoriginal “Best Ever” listing. And if this is anything to go by, this Total Film group whom penned the list have less taste between them than a tofu pancake.

I mean, c’mon, for a start they have the Texas Chainsaw Massacre in the top 25. That immediately throws all credit out the window. They put Goodfellas as the top movie, which is perhaps a bit much… but of course it depends on your tastes. Interestingly Vertigo made it in at number 2… interesting mainly because I’ve stayed at the York Hotel in San Francisco, the stairs there being those used in the movie. Stupidly enough, I never went to the top to see the view down; even from the third level it was pretty unsettling. Those stairs definitely have something in that way more than others. Very bizarre.

And then there’s Jaws at number three… well, I think Jaws is funny, but overrated. And like Babe, I think it’s done horrible things for people’s psychology towards it’s leading star, the Great White Shark. In Babe it was the pig. Don’t try and be funny via my poor grammar.

And fourth is Fight Club. Maxim was obsessed with that movie in high school… it’s funny because as soon as he showed me the front cover of the video, I knew what the big huge twist was. It was an interesting movie, but in an arty way… while it did prompt a bit of boxing amongst our group, it was short lived; beating the crap out of each other isn’t quite as interesting in reality.

Apocalypse Now ranked in at #20. Which probably isn’t too bad, in my own opinion. But when you look at some of the crap they thought was better, well…

But I guess most interesting is that they put The Empire Strikes Back at #8…. and yet the rest of the original StarWars trilogy are nowhere to be seen. What the?!? Return of the Jedi was by far the best of the trilogy. The Empire Strikes Back wasn’t too bad, but c’mon – what made StarWars was the cool light sabre fights and huge space battles, not watching Yoda shuffle around a puddle for three quarters of an hour. I mean, I love Yoda to death, but we need some action here.

Oddly enough, I think the newer StarWars trilogy cast Yoda better. He was still there, being all-powerful and wise and a smartarse, but without wasting any time on it. Quite well done, I thought.

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