SciFi Channel Show Formula

  1. Choose random animal. Bonus points for reptiles and fish.
  2. Invent some completely ridiculous way for them to mutate. Bonus points if it involves human growth hormone.
  3. Kill exactly half your main cast in the first twenty minutes.
  4. Ensure the worst actress on staff survives the entire movie as the luckless heroine.
  5. Set everything on fire. Bonus points for “electric” fire. Extra bonus points if you electrocute the earth. The entire earth.
  6. Make sure not to annoy audiences by building suspense or similar… jump incoherently from one scene to another.
  7. Ensure the finale is completely inconclusive. Bonus points if it’s clearly not because of an impending sequel, but sheer ineptitude of the writers.
  8. Show every night for three weeks.

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