So I can say I tried

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I want to note down my feelings before tonight actually goes ahead, to see if they change. But the sentiment I have at the moment is not entirely happy. I’m particularly not inclined, right now, to go trying to organise anything else in future. It’s a never ending stream of micro-disasters, leading to one big anti-climatic let down. I’m so tired right now from all the cooking today, and organising, and stressing over everything, that I’d really like nothing more than to go to bed right now. I wish I had a new Discworld book. That’s what I’d really like to do.

You know, for all the crap I gave Roxanne the other day when she said her perfect evening was sitting at home with a book, I could definitely go for that right now. People are overrated, methinks. At least, in large quantities.

Actually, curled up on the couch with someone, waiting a good movie, that would go down pretty well right now too.

Next weekend I’m going to do something. I’m not sure what, exactly – perhaps go for a long drive somewhere – but I’m just going to do it, and not care what everyone else is up to. It’s so nice to just get up and do things, rather than forever waiting on other people.

Hmmm… but let the record show, nonetheless, that I am still going to go out tonight, and I’m going to make a darn big effort to have fun, and I sneakily suspect I may actually find some. Here’s hoping, anyway. I really don’t want to regret the whole enterprise.

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