What Men Want

So who’s the female equivalent of Mel Gibson suitable for such a movie? Courtney Love? :P

Anyway, Brett’s gone and darn well set me off again on a little rant, courtesy of his Ultimate Sex Appeal Item blog entry, to which my comment is:

It’s a common fallacy amongst women that sexiness is directly proportionate to nudity. Many can’t believe that a guy would prefer them to dress up a bit than just take off their clothes.

Damnit, now you’ve kicked off my rant gene, and I’m going to have to turn this into a full journal entry… Brett, I’m billing you for my wasted weekend. :P

Also, I differ substantially from both lists, which is perhaps an unfortunate grain of salt to be taken with what I’m now about to say, in reference to how much this represents the opinion of the “average” guy, whatever the heck that is. :)

For a start, it’s completely a waste of time asking a women’s opinion on another women; women just don’t know what guys like. Women will defend this vehemently, swearing black & blue that they know what men want in the face of overwhelming and exclusive evidence otherwise. I’m sorry, it’s just the way it is. :P

It does go the other way too, I’m vaguely aware, although I’m hard pressed to recall a recent time where I’ve performed such an evaluation. :)

There’s an old joke I quite like, which makes the email circuit occasionally, that goes along the lines of: “How to impress a women… 1) do this, 2) do that, 3) defy universal laws, 4) be rich, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc…….. how to impress a man: 1) turn up naked, 2) bring beer”. Aside from the sexist humour value, it’s actually not literally true. (for a start, it doesn’t qualify which sex is trying to impress who; I don’t want some naked dude on my front doorstep :D )

When told to women, the reaction is oft-times “urrrgh” and a dismissive head-turn, in that “that’s not funny because it’s true” kind of way. But it’s not true. Outright nakedness is very rarely attractive, to me at least. Anyone can be naked, and it doesn’t really show much effort at all. Few women would be impressed if a guy turned up naked and expected them to get excited about it (none would if I did ;) ); there’s no reason to believe it works in converse.

On a related point, virtually every women I’ve ever spoken to on the topic is adamant that sexiness is a genetic trait that you cannot possibly alter in yourself. What a crock. Sexiness, like anything, has to be learnt. Sure, some people are “naturals”, meaning they stumble into it without apparent difficulty, while others require more work – but it’s still a skill that can be learnt, honed, practised. The defeatist attitude is a huge barrier to actually changing it, and becomes self-enforcing.

It’s like dancing. Except you don’t read the ads in the paper for “sexy lessons” like you do dance lessons (excepting of course the back pages of less reputable papers, although those aren’t quite the sort of lessons I mean ;) ). So it’s harder to learn. But, while I’ve no personal experience in the affirmative, I’m quite sure it can be done.

Leave a Comment